The Christmas decorations are all gone from the outside of the house. Don’t pat me on the back too much about that – I was still one day later than the 20-day deadline from our HOA so I expect a nastygram in our mailbox any day now. And just because our lawn is empty doesn’t mean that we don’t have a garage full of flamingos, santa legs, snowmen, snowflakes, disassembled trees, extension cords and sundry other accoutrements that still need to go into the attic so maybe this year I can finally put my car back into the garage again. But at least the lawn, house and roof are empty. The 9′ tree in the living room is still up but I’m slowly removing its ornaments. And the Dept. 56 “A Christmas Story” village will come down pretty soon too. But overall, Christmas is over.
But I still have one more Christmasy story. Well, a story with pictures, anyway. See, I went to Big Lots sometime in December and they had these LED light up things that are run on D batteries and have built-in dusk-to-dawn timers. They had a bunch to choose from (snowmen, Santa, penguins, angels, etc.) but they were $30 each and, at only about 3′ tall each and somewhere closer to 2D than to 3D, really weren’t worth it. But when I went to Olde Tyme Pottery a few days after Christmas, they were on sale for $15. Now, Old Tyme Pottery, like Home Goods, is like crack cocaine to me and even if I go in and don’t plan to buy anything at all, I wind up possibly dropping $100, easy. So I decided to bite the bullet and picked three of the decorations – two different snowmen ones and a penguin
because I need more Christmas decorations like I need a hole in the head. I never wound up putting them up because it was, after all, after Christmas and it just wasn’t worth the effort of unpacking them. So I just put them off to the side.
As I was organizing the garage to get ready to start putting stuff in the attic (Joe doesn’t really help much with this because I organize the decorations in a certain way and really, I’m the only one who can stand up straight in our attic anyway), I looked at the box, satisfied with my purchase. And then I took a better look:
BACK OF BOX – still nothing really out of the ordinary…until…
READ THE PRINTING ON THE BACK OF THE BOX!
“Timer feature turns on Product at the Same Time each Night than Shuts Off after 6 Hours” (I don’t know what the deal is with the capital letters but c’mon…”THAN?”)
But wait! There’s more!
“Replace only with “D” type batteries. Please remove batteries if consumed…” (Note the lack of inappropriate capital letters in this part of the box but besides that, do they mean they expect the owner to eat the snowman or the batteries? Either way, um….not!)
So that was my giggle of the day. Probably not good enough for Engrish.com, and not nearly as good as the sign we once saw at Disneyland Paris (“Mens Room Closed. Please Use Stairs”) but it still made me smile.
Doesn’t take much.