Our toy poodle, Dobby, will be turning 2 next week. And let me tell you, she is one SMART little girl. Smart enough where she can even be sneaky. See, she has this “thing” about stuff she finds on the floor – if it’s on the floor (or hell, not even just on the floor – just within her reach!) it’s hers. Paper, pens, dryer sheets, socks (oh, does that dog LOVE socks!) plus whatever other tiny little stuff she finds that we didn’t even know was on the floor. Like the time someone dropped a wine glass and we thought we had it all cleaned up…until we caught Little Miss Thang chewing on a piece of broken glass the next day. Yeah, I know. Scared the crap out of me – but like I said, we THOUGHT we had cleaned it all up. But no, Dobby let us know that we were wrong. Then there are times when she’ll find “something” (a leaf by the front door, a plastic twisty tie from a loaf of bread, etc.) and will be chewing away on it…I’ll catch her in the act and say, “Dobby, what do you have? What are you doing?” And don’t you know the little bastard STOPS CHEWING? I swear she puts this “Oh so innocent” look on her face too, just like a little kid…”I’M not chewing anything. Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Sharon?” And as soon as I turn around, she goes right back to chewing.

It’s a good thing she’s cute.

So anyway, Joe and I have this couch that we keep between our two computer desks. I bought it on sale at a local chain of furniture stores when I first moved to Florida because it has a pull-out twin sized bed that is actually comfortable. Well, for a pull-out bed. Anyway, the couch is one of Dobby’s favorite places to sleep. She realized a while back that if she leaned on her front paws on the arm of the couch, she could be as close as possible to either Joe or I (depending on what side she was leaning on) while we were at our computer desks and she could sometimes get some extra attention that way (yeah, because the poor thing is SOOO neglected). The problem was that if she didn’t get attention, she’d start to whine. And when THAT didn’t work, she started standing with all 4 paws on the couch arm. And THAT’S where we drew the line because although it hasn’t happened yet, she really could fall and get hurt. With that in mind, this is the conversation we had with Dobby not long ago (the pictures are a reenactment but this really is exactly how it happened).

Sharon (standing near Joe's computer desk, looking over his shoulder at something): Dobby, off!

Sharon: Good girl! Good off!

Sharon: Huh-uh. Nope. I said off. OFF!

Dobby: Ummm, Joe? Are you gonna let her get away with that?

Joe (sitting at his desk): Dobby, OFF! // Dobby: Oh, I guess you are. Crap.

Dobby: How about just this one paw? // Sharon: No. Off!

This was the time where you could almost see the wheels turning around and around in her furry little head.

Dobby: Hmm. OK, well, then how about the other paw? // Joe: No. I said OFF!

At this point I had to turn around so she wouldn’t see me laughing. Because just like a little kid, if she saw that I was laughing, we would never see the end of the behavior.

Dobby: Well, shit. Fine. Hey, do you have any more of that glass that I can chew?

Like I said, it’s a good thing she’s cute.